This post was originally going to be a review, but as Avatar’s plot unfolded, it became clear to me that I could no longer put off discussing a year long personal struggle in my life that may prove helpful to others out there going through a similar situation.

Some of the readers may have noticed that I all but vanished off of the face of the earth for nearly a year. Many other writers on the site picked up the slack in my absence, for which I was, and continue to be grateful for.  I told myself that upon returning I would explain the situation in an honest and open post to the readership. The problem was, I struggled to find a segue from the world of gaming news to a real life obsession that was slowing taking over my every waking moment, but a few hours of big budget IMAX 3D movie magic the other night changed all of that.

Of course I’m talking about James Cameron’s 300 million dollar blockbuster film, Avatar. Before I go any further, I feel that it’s important for me to add that, while this is not a review of the film, I did thoroughly enjoy the on screen experience of Avatar. It’s a big budget popcorn flick with stunning visuals, however while many reviewers have analyzed it’s supposed political undertone, the story of Jake Sully reminded me of a much more personal first hand experience of my own — with MMO addiction.

It almost seems like I’m talking about another person as I admit this now, but looking back at how seriously addicted I was to World of Warcraft, I realize that the effect an addiction — even to a videogame — can have on you and those who care and depend on you can be devastating.

It’s true that Avatar is a much more layered sci-fi experience than WoW, but some of the basic elements that I became consumed by in the game seemed very similar to the situations that were portrayed in the movie. I found myself rooting for Jake and the people he sought to protect throughout the film, but the similarities between my experience and the events in Avatar did not escape me.

Jake’s real body is ridden to a wheelchair, while his avatar is capable of running, jumping, performing acrobatic moves, and other various feats of strength — and all he has to do to experience this world whenever he wants to is hop into a chamber and “log in”. The ease of access portrayed in the film, paired with the vast difference between a real life predicament which is less than fulfilling and an alternative reality full of excitement and awe, is what first drew a comparison for me, but it didn’t end there.

As the character became more entrenched in the new world, his interest in it shifted from curiosity to a perceived sense of obligation to those he met within. Days started to blur as he lost track of things like morning, noon, and night. He began to shun necessities such as sleep, regular meals, and at times … even basic hygiene (stinky) for a chance at additional time spent in the body of his avatar. At one point, he is given an opportunity to better his real world predicament and step away from the avatar based experience, but he brushes off reality for an avatar advancement opportunity that I equated to level capping a character in an MMO.

These are all characteristics that, while I’m ashamed to admit, I know I experienced first hand during my heavy addiction phase. A game I picked up as a trial in Circuit City for less than five bucks as a means to experiment with MMO based gaming turned into something I began to play from the moment I woke up until the moment I passed out — day in and day out. I lost interest in maintaining the site, keeping in touch with my writers, family, and friends. The thing that mattered most during this time was my self imposed obligation to the individuals in my guild, bettering my character/avatar, and ultimately dealing with a bunch of  in-game conflicts that I wouldn’t even think about entertaining now.

I must add that while the vast majority of the relationships I made in World of Warcraft were superficial and performance based, there are a handful of individuals I am glad to have met that I still keep in touch with to this day. I’m in no way blaming the developers of the game, however I do believe that extremity open ended games like World of Warcraft and other MMOs can prove to be highly addictive and damaging if put in the hands of individuals with certain defining preexisting personality traits. In other words, games don’t make people kill people, but an individual with a few dozen animal slayings under their belt isn’t exactly the person you want to see twiddling a butchers knife between their fingers while playing Manhunt in your living room at 3am.

Though it wasn’t easy to walk away, my personal struggle with MMO addiction finally ended a few months ago with the help of tough love from family and friends. If someone out there reading this is in a similar spot, or knows someone that is, my advice is to first admit that there is a problem, and second, find a way to distance yourself from it. Things won’t likely happen over night, but it can be done. Reaching your “max level” in the real world will undoubtedly require more effort than button mashing boss kills that dispense phat loot, but the payoff is tangible and doesn’t require a monthly subscription fee. It’s not as exciting as being a powerful warrior who soars high over Northrend on his flying mount, but reality has its perks too.

In closing, I apologize to everyone I may have let down, including the writers who busted their butt to keep the site afloat during this unfortunate chapter of my life, and vow to never again play a game that I can’t realistically beat in a week or two. Enjoy the upcoming holiday break.